RLL 79: Live B.I.G. (like Mrs. Hibbs) in 2020

Real Life Leading 79: Live B.I.G. in 2020

During the Christmas season, my colleagues and I said goodbye to a dear friend, Mrs. Teresa Hibbs. She was a fellow teacher, a wonderful Godly woman, and a person who lived out the Gospel every day. At her funeral, I was privileged to hear our school’s administrator, Mrs. Greer, share about Mrs. Hibbs’ life. Yesterday at teacher in-service, I was blessed to hear another Mrs. Greer (daughter-in-law of the aforementioned Mrs. Greer) share again about Mrs. Hibbs. What both Mrs. Greers shared I’ve summarized here, as an encouragement and exhortation to all of us to live as Mrs. Hibbs lived: to live B.I.G. Mrs. Hibbs was a teacher for over 40 years at numerous schools, and the students she taught and influenced is numbered in the thousands. She was a football mom, a constant source of encouragement, and a woman who loved her family and friends fiercely.

As Mrs. Greer said, Mrs. Hibbs believed in other people, even when they didn’t believe in themselves. Students who were struggling, or whom other teachers had written off, found a place of comfort and hope with Mrs. Hibbs. She would challenge them and encourage them and ultimately believe in them so much that they couldn’t help but believe in themselves. It wasn’t that she didn’t hold them accountable; she very much did. In fact, perhaps my favorite story I heard about Mrs. Hibbs is one that I just learned of recently. Mrs. Hibb’s father had a physical disability requiring the use of a prosthetic arm and a hook in place of one hand. She often shared stories about him with her students, to help them see that difficulties can be overcome. And on the rare days that the students would continue to complain about their lot, she would surprise them by pulling the prosthesis and hook out of her desk drawer, placing it forcefully on her desk, and not-so-subtly reminding the students that they had much less to complain about than they thought! She believed in them, and in doing so, she showed them just how much they were capable of.

Second, Mrs. Hibbs inspired her students to accomplish much more than they would have dreamt possible. This was seen in the many, many students who came to her in the midst of academic struggles. For much of her career, Mrs. Hibbs worked with these students, often with various cognitive diagnoses or IEPs that had caused the students to struggle and/or other teachers to write them off. But Mrs. Hibbs set about inspiring these students through her love, her compassion, and her accountability. She never allowed students to use their circumstances as an excuse for not giving the very best effort they could. On the contrary, because of her, many students were able to overcome their circumstances and perform at a higher level than ever before, because of the inspiration they got from her. Many of these students attended her funeral, and it was an amazing testimony to her life to see how many kids had similar experiences in her classroom. Mrs. Hibbs inspired them, and it changed their lives.

Finally, Mrs. Hibbs gave to her students. She gave them her time, her energy, her compassion, her love, her joy, and her hope. She gave them these things when they didn’t have much of it themselves. She was often found at school very early, playing her praise and worship music, and simply being available in case anyone needed to stop by and chat. She gave of her breaks, and her meal times, and her planning periods, to talk with students and just listen to what was going on in their lives. She gave of herself in ways that many students had never experienced from a teacher before, and as a result of that, they knew that she loved them. And this love was transformational for too many of them to count. Because Mrs. Hibbs gave, many others also learned to give.

If you didn’t have the privilege of meeting and knowing Mrs. Hibbs, you missed out on a wonderful woman and a true servant of others. If you did have the joy of knowing her, be thankful, remember her, and pay tribute to her memory by living as she did: live B.I.G. in this new year, and in every year after.

**Special thanks to Mrs. Cindy Greer and Mrs. Meredith Greer for sharing the above message. The acronym is not mine, nor are the stories, but any mistakes or omissions are entirely my fault.**

RLL 55: Rainy Days and Recliners--The Importance of Perspective

Real Life Leading #55

Rainy Days and Recliners: The Importance of Perspective

THANKS to my best friend David for recommending this book to me!

This past week saw a couple of brutally rainy days where my family lives in north Alabama: flash flood warnings, soaked yards, dangerous driving conditions, etc. These were the kinds of days that make a person want to remain in pajama pants and just read or sleep all day. Unfortunately, we were unable to do that, especially since the end-of-semester exams are rapidly approaching. It would have been easy to be depressed or irritable about the weather and the work to be done, but fortunately I had a couple of great reminders this week about the importance of my perspective.

You see, this week I read two amazing books by Andy Andrews, called The Noticer and The Noticer Returns. In both of those books, the main character has an uncanny ability to help people gain what he calls ‘proper perspective.’ Inevitably, Jones (the main character) helps various people to realize that things are different than they had originally thought by helping people change their perspective. When that happens, they also see a change in their attitudes and eventually their choices. And that is the key today: how we think about and how we view our situation will greatly shape our future.

A kid, a book, a pup, and a recliner. This is a serious high-point of life in my world!

For example, if you’re reading this right now, there’s a great chance you’re reading it indoors: in a home, a school, or a business somewhere. This building has electricity, heat, and (obviously) internet access. These things that we take for granted are not as universally available as we often tend to think, and when we remember that, it helps us regain proper perspective as well.

By way of another example, let me share this: on my off days, I enjoy reading books in a recliner that my siblings and I gave our dad as a gift not long before he passed away. Since then, it has been in my home as a place of comfort and ease and memories. Often, to what used to cause me great annoyance, I would come into the den only to find that my recliner had been usurped by either one of my daughters or one of my dogs. One day, however, I was struck by the thought—and I can’t believe it took me so long to realize this—that Dad would have been happy for his recliner to be used not just by me but also by others that he loved. He would have preferred it, really, since that meant that more people were enjoying his chair. And ever since then it’s become my habit to say a quick prayer of thanks whenever my recliner is occupied, because it means I’m also surrounded by loved ones, even if they’re in my seat.

These books contain incredible truth and power. Give them a read!

The same goes for each time I see my wife or one of my daughters wearing some of my clothes, especially soccer gear: t-shirts, pullovers, hoodies, etc. I like my clothes and I like to wear them, but it makes me smile to see my wife and kids borrow them and enjoy them too. So instead of being irritated at not being able to wear a specific shirt on a certain day, I can be glad that I have loved ones around who want to borrow them.

Gaining ‘perspective,’ as Andy Andrews points out, has the power to change not just how we view our situation, but the situation itself. Correct thinking is the key to gaining wisdom, to seeing things properly, and to growing in appreciation for the gifts we have been given.

“The way a person thinks is the key to everything that follows -- good or bad, success or failure. A person's thinking -- the way he thinks -- is the foundation structure upon which a life is built. Thinking guides decisions. Thinking -- how a person thinks -- determines every choice.” - from The Noticer Returns

Action Step: This week, let us commit to right thinking and proper perspective. Make a list of situations that cause you stress or annoyance. Then spend some time thinking of ways to view the situation differently, to regain happiness or joy from the situation.

(For more info on this and how to change your thinking, be sure to go by www.beliefhacker.com and check out the work being done by my friend Dr. Bill Findley. #ThinkBetterLiveBetter)

RLL 54: How Gratitude Changes Our Hearts

RLL 54: How Gratitude Changes Our Hearts

My best friend, David, and me—just doing what we do at his wedding rehearsal dinner back in October.

I’ll get this out right up front: I am a short, short human being. I am 5’3” inches tall (that’s 160.02 cm for my metric-minded friends, according to Google), roughly the same height as Napoleon Bonaparte (at least according to British propaganda from the era) and much shorter than many notable celebrities that are considered ‘short.’ Also according to Google, the average American male is 5’9” tall…which puts the average American man as a full 6 inches taller than I am. Half a foot. Shorter than average.

I get hobbit jokes all the time from my students, elf jokes every Christmas season from the whole world, and short jokes from my best friend (who is 6’4”) and his family pretty much always.

As a result of my short stature, I’ve always felt frustrated at many aspects of life that average height men take for granted: getting things off of high shelves, washing my hands in public restrooms (which for me results in getting water from the counter top on my shirt right at belly-button level), etc. But here’s the thing: it could be worse.

When my daughters put heels on, they really are almost my height!

Over the past year, though, I’ve realized just how much I have to be thankful for, despite the fact that I’m roughly the size of a middle school student. And the more I focused on reasons to be thankful, the more thankful I’ve become. C.S. Lewis talks about a similar phenomenon in ‘Mere Christianity’ regarding how we treat others, and I believe the principle holds true for how we think of ourselves. Here’s what he wrote:

“When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less…[W]henever we do good to another self, just because it is a self, made (like us) by God, and desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less.”

I believe this same idea also applies to how we think about our situations in life: if we constantly focus on the negative, then the negatives only seem to grow. If, however, we choose to focus on the positives, then the negatives seem to fade into the background.

They don’t go away entirely (after all, I still need help getting things off of high shelves), but they’re not as big of a deal as they used to be. And they can even turn into moments of light-heartedness and fun, such as when my children get to laugh as I jump up to knock something off of a store shelf and then catch it before it hits the tiled floor.

I’m thankful that I’m short, because it means I get more opportunities to jump than most adults get on a regular day.

When my wife and I visited Cameron Indoor Stadium this summer, It was fun to see just how much smaller our feet are than those of former Duke basketball players.

I’m thankful that I’m short because not once in my life have I hit my head on a pull-up bar, a ceiling fan blade, or the top of a door frame (all of which my best friend has done).

I’m thankful that I’m short because the old “Jump, knock it off a shelf then catch it” trick made for a lot of laughs (and extra tips) when I was a bartender in college.

I’m thankful I’m short because when I played soccer in high school and college, I almost never got called for fouls because referees thought, “Surely that little guy didn’t actually knock that big dude over. He must have been diving.”

I’m thankful I’m short because it’s obviously how God intended me to be.

Action Step: This Thanksgiving week, in addition to just listing things we’re thankful for, I would challenge you to ask yourself how you might reframe your situation mentally (to learn more about ‘reframing,’ check out podcasts from both Bob Burg—https://burg.com/—and Jordan Harbinger—https://www.jordanharbinger.com/). In other words, think of something that normally bothers you or drags you down; then, examine how can you think differently about it so that it becomes an opportunity for gratitude.

(Bonus: For more info on how to do this, also go check out my friend Dr. William Findley over at BeliefHacker.com to learn how to #thinkbetter and #livebetter)