RLL #16: 8 Great Books for 2018

RLL 16: 8 Great Books for 2018

    Happy Sunday, everyone! Most people have already begun (and many have also already failed at) their New Year’s resolutions, so I thought instead of resolutions I would give you a quick update on recommended reading for this upcoming year. The good news is that it’s never too late to get started reading excellent books, so it’s a great way to not fail at your resolutions (for more info on how to do better at setting/reaching goals, etc, check out the excellent work being done by Michael Hyatt and Jon Acuff).

So, below is a brief list of books I recommend for 2018. They are of different genres, but the two things that tie them together are: 1) I am recommending them only because I have read them and found them valuable, not because I just *think* they would be good books to read; and 2) they all contain encouraging information about both life and leadership that I think everyone will find valuable and helpful. They are not listed in any particular order (i.e., which I like best, or which are easiest to read, etc), they’re just all excellent books that I recommend to people all the time. If you’ve already read one or more of them, I would LOVE to hear what you think about the ones you’ve read. If you haven’t, then let me know when you have and we’ll talk about what you learned. So, without further adieu, here’s the list!

1) ‘Steal the Show’ by Michael Port

I have been a high school history teacher for over a decade, so I am no stranger to being in front of a group of people and presenting information. Even for me, Michael Port’s book ‘Steal the Show’ is a treasure-trove of information about the art and craft of speaking and presentation-giving. It contains clear directions, helpful tips and exercises, and also activities for helping you practice and gain confidence for any and every situation in which you have something on the line. In doing so, it also contains insights into leadership, such as helping us to see why communication is so important and how we can become better at precise communication. As the back cover says, “Confident communication is a skill, and anyone can learn how to do it.”

2) ‘Mere Christianity’ by C.S. Lewis

In addition to history I also teach high school Bible, and I have used this as one of my textbooks for Bible class for the past five years. One of the classic works of the 20th century, ‘Mere Christianity’ was originally conceived of as a series of radio talks given by C.S. Lewis to the British public during World War II. Lewis articulates many valuable truths to the readers (as he did his listeners) through a blend of word-pictures, humor, and wit. Whether you are a Christian or not, this book also contains amazingly important information about human nature and relationships, about why we think the way we do, and about how important it is to examine our motives, thoughts, and actions. “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

3) ‘The Hobbit’ by J.R.R. Tolkien

Until I was in college, I wanted nothing to do with what I considered “nerd-books” (read: sci fi/fantasy novels, etc). But I was very blessed in my sophomore year of college in that I had a scholarship which paid for me to attend Oxford University (in the U.K.) for a semester. While there, I began reading JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis for the first time, since both had been at Oxford for much of the 20th century. In short: I fell in love with their work and have never looked back. ‘The Hobbit’ is an adventure story, full of exciting action, magic, and humor. It is also full of amazing wisdom and insight into human (hobbit, really) nature. I read this book to my children when they were younger, and it is one that I re-read every year. If you have always thought, “Yeah, those kinds of books just aren’t for me,” that’s ok. Give it one more try. “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

4) ‘Gates of Fire: An Epic Novel of the Battle of Thermopylae’ by Steven Pressfield

This book is the story of the amazing Battle of Thermopylae, in which a small group of around 300 Spartan warriors held off a force of 2,000,000 (yes, you read those numbers correctly) Persian invaders. The story itself is incredible, and this book is written not as a history book, but as a novel, telling the story from the point of view of two main characters. It is a fascinating look into life in ancient Greece, but more importantly it contains extremely valuable information about traits of leadership, the importance of overcoming one’s own limitations, and the power of self-sacrifice in leadership. “The supreme accomplishment of the warrior: to perform the commonplace under far-from-commonplace conditions.”

5) ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom

When I was a teenager, my dad had me watch this movie with him one weekend, and at the time I did not come close to appreciating how amazing it was. Last year, at the age of thirty-four, I got around to reading the book after picking it up at a yard sale, and I immediately felt a sense of regret that I had not paid more attention to the lessons Dad was trying to get me to see when I was younger. This book is powerful, insightful, touching, encouraging, joyous, and heart-breaking. It explores human nature, leadership, relationships, and love. I wrote about it more extensively in the second-ever RLL blog post (https://www.speakerjoel.com/real-life-leading-blog/j43ey4e8enp3btlw92gyw857xyam4w), and I still feel just as strongly about it. “That’s the thing, you see. Once you get your fingers on the important questions, you can’t turn away from them.”

6) ‘Out of the Blue’ by Orel Hershiser

My dad was a huge Los Angeles Dodgers baseball fan, and Orel Hershiser was one of those athletes that Dad always told me I should pattern myself after due to his character, not just his athletic ability. Hershiser is what Dad called a “classy player,” who showed respect to his opponents regardless of the situation or circumstances. That ‘class’ comes across in this book as well, which is mostly the story of the 1988 LA Dodgers season (in which the Dodgers won the World Series and Hershiser won the World Series MVP award), but it also is the story of Hershiser’s upbringing and his life off the baseball field. In the book, Hershiser is honest, humble, and self-reflective, and he shares much valuable information with the readers. I recommend this book to all baseball fans and also to anyone who simply enjoys a good read. “The most important thing is doing the right thing the right way and letting the results take care of themselves…”

7) ‘The Messiah Method’ by Michael Zigarelli

I am a high school coach and former college player, and so I’m always looking to improve my coaching. One of my former college teammates who is also a coach (and far more accomplished than I am) recommended this book to me a few years back, and I owe him a huge debt for doing so (Thanks, Cush!). Messiah College in Pennsylvania has a soccer program that is the best in the country on both the men’s and the women’s sides. Their record of winning games and championships is incredible, and in this book Michael Zigarelli (himself a Professor of Leadership and Strategy at Messiah and a high school soccer coach) looks at the seven disciplines that Messiah has followed to create such an amazing program, regardless of changes in coaching staff. The book is not about coaching soccer as much as it is about creating a specific type of culture and atmosphere within this college community, and thus the lessons are applicable at high schools as well as in businesses and in the corporate world. Their success speaks for itself, but so does the testimony of one former player, which captures the incredible atmosphere and culture at Messiah:  “I’d rather sit on the bench at Messiah than start anywhere else.” How many organizations have a culture that would inspire that type of attitude?

8) ‘Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections’ by John Wooden

This is a book my dad gave me for my 15th birthday, and I cannot remember how many times I have read it and referenced it. John Wooden is the legendary UCLA men’s basketball coach (back when coaches were also often still teachers, even at giant universities like UCLA) who is, even today, widely considered one of the greatest-ever coaches in any sport, at any level. He also was incredibly humble and kind, generous and caring. This book is a wonderful collection of thoughts, short stories and anecdotes, as well as lessons learned (and taught) through Coach Wooden’s life and career. It is inspirational, encouraging, challenging, and uplifting all at the same time. “Make each day your masterpiece.”

Action Step: Pick one of these books and read it! Then, let me know what you think about it.

As always, thanks for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you! Let me know what you think about the list, and I would LOVE to discuss any and all of these books with you in the future. Have a great Sunday!

Walk Worthy,

Joel

RLL #15: 5 Lessons from Bruiser's Obedience Class

Real Life Leading #15

5 Lessons from Bruiser’s Obedience Class

     Back in September, my family adopted a second dog from a local Humane Society. He’s a fifty(ish) pound bulldog/boxer mix named Bruiser, and we found out VERY quickly that his name was either well-chosen (after someone had owned him for a while) or prophetic (if someone named him when he was still very young). This dog is as stubborn as the day is long. He chews things he shouldn’t (the couch, my briefcase, one of my all-time favorite hats), doesn’t listen to anyone or anything, and he has a habit of slobbering on my clothes just moments before I leave for school in the mornings.

At least, these were my views of Bruiser after the first couple of months. Things came to a crisis point one evening when Bruiser and Butterscotch (our other dog, another Boxer-mix rescue dog who is about 60 pounds) got into a fight one night about food. The dogs like to rough-house and play, but this was entirely different: Bruiser went after Butterscotch, slicing her leg open with his teeth (it required stitches the next day) and cutting her ear open. My wife and I talked about Bruiser at length over the next few days: do we find him a new home (he was a very different dog when Butterscotch was in a different room or in the yard) where he would be the only dog, do we keep him and hope things change, or do we try obedience classes?

My pride rebelled at the thought of obedience classes, but just hoping for change wasn’t doing us any good--I’d been doing that for two months. I knew my heart would break if we gave him away (I strongly identify with this dog, but that’s for another post, another time). So I gave in and called to schedule obedience classes at the local Pet Smart. Eight half-hour sessions later, it’s as if Bruiser is a completely different dog: still energetic and playful, still not aware of how strong and clumsy he is, but much gentler, much more obedient, much more willing to please. So, here are five lessons I learned from Bruiser’s obedience classes that I hope you will find applicable as well!

Bruiser in his favorite spot!

1. When I admitted I didn’t have the answers and asked for help, everything started to improve. Pride almost cost me my new dog, and humility (reluctant on my part) saved him. I live in a world of females. I have a wife, two daughters, a girl dog, and I coach a high school girls soccer program of 30+ athletes. I was THRILLED to have a boy dog in the house...until he was a terror. I had owned dogs my whole life, and I’d never had to take one to obedience training, so why was this any different? The answer: because the only dogs I’d ever owned that tested boundaries like this, I had to give away (this happened twice in my late teens/early twenties). I was forced to admit that I had zero clue how to train this dog. And when I did, and when I followed my wife’s advice to take him to class, the trainer (Cheryl, the Dog Trainer Superlady) was incredible. By the end of the first class, I knew more about dog training than I’d ever learned before, and Bruiser was already showing drastic improvement.

Bruiser and Butterscotch with Kid #1

2. The reward has to be worth the effort. If it’s not, frustration may be the only result you get. Bruiser is the most food-motivated creature I’ve ever come across in my life. I knew this a little, because before the class, the ONLY time Bruiser would sit when told to was when I was holding his dinner in my hands. I mentioned this to the trainer, and she said, “Then reward him with treats every time he obeys, and he’ll obey a lot more.” I protested that I didn’t want to have to give him a treat every time he obeyed, and her response was, “Then expect him to continue to disobey.” The thing is, Bruiser had lived most of his life without having to obey anyone--he was on his own or in a bad situation or in a shelter. So why should I expect him to obey me when 1) he doesn’t actually speak English, he speaks dog, and 2) he’s never learned how to obey? So, we doubled-down, bought (inexpensive) treats, and Bruiser become much more willing to obey when he realized the reward was worth the effort.

3. Intelligence and communication are crucial to any good collaborative effort. If Bruiser and I were going to work, I had to 1) realize that he wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t just stubborn, and 2) figure out how to communicate in a way that he understood. Turns out, Bruiser is incredibly intelligent, able to pick up on things almost immediately...when I communicate them clearly and when the reward is sufficient. One of the major things Cheryl told me is that I have to use the same word every time I want an action performed. To a dog’s ears, “Down! Sit! Sit down! Stay! Sit!” all sound like noise. How is Bruiser to know that those are all different commands that really call for the same response? I learned to pick one command word, accompany it with a physical cue (pointing at the floor), and then use that one every time. And when we did, he started picking things up immediately. By the end of session two, he was sitting, laying down, sitting back up, and (sometimes) coming when we called him. And yes, we still rewarded (and still do) him every time because these were new victories and we want to reinforce them. He’s a lot smarter than I realized, and I only saw that when Cheryl showed me how I was communicating poorly with my dog.

Bruiser helping out when mom was sick

4. Patience in any new task is crucial to eventual success. Butterscotch spoiled me--she’s a calm, quiet-natured, (mostly) obedient dog, almost naturally. So when Bruiser just (in my eyes) chose to ignore me every time I spoke to him, I got very frustrated. I got angry. And I lost my temper (on multiple occasions). I’m not proud of this, and I’ve apologized to him (with words and treats and cuddles) many times. What I didn’t realize until class was that Bruiser had to figure out what I was looking for when I gave him commands, and when I gave him a second or two to think, he would perform them. So, when I said sit, it took about a second for him to put it together: “Hmm, that weird human noise means I need to put my puppy-rear-end on the floor and keep it there.” Same thing with “Lay down.” And with “Stay.” Amazingly, when I learned to have patience with Bruiser, he performed better, my blood pressure returned to normal, and we both got along much better.

5. Consistency is key. So, in the past two months of class, Bruiser has made tremendous progress. But the truth is, the total amount of class time over that two month period was four hours. We spent a LOT of time at home reinforcing the things learned in class. Because I’m a teacher, note-taking is a part of who I am, so I took notes at obedience class (just like I took notes everyday for my first few months as a firefighter, learning about the equipment, etc). And then I brought those notes home so that I could be sure to recreate the situations from class. This also allowed my wife and kids to participate in the training process, all of which has been helpful for Bruiser and for the family. We even started using many of the techniques learned with Bruiser to help better train Butterscotch, with positive results! The point here is that eight thirty-minute sessions were great, but that time alone was not going to be enough to retrain Bruiser--we had to be consistent at home, working with him for at least a few minutes almost every day. When we did that, the positive changes continued, and our home is a much more positive (and much less-chewed upon) place!

The pups snuggling with Kid #2

So, there are five quick lessons I learned from class with Bruiser! I hope you also learned along with me and are able to apply these lessons in other areas of life as well. I know that I’ve already started looking for ways to apply these in my parenting, my teaching, my coaching, and my speaking. Let me know how I can help you too!

Action Step: Choose one of these five lessons and apply it in one situation in your personal or professional life, and then email me and let me know how it goes. I look forward to hearing from you!